Lent Study

How can I begin? First if you would have told me that I would be a part of spiritual active community I would have said no way.  It was only though many years of personal growth did I come to this place.  

Breaking into Job is like present day to me.  It appears the problem is the lack of listening to each other.  The parties all see their viewpoint of what faith and God is but yet fail to understand the harm in the constant over driving Job.  He is in a battle but is not faithless when he should have every reason to be.  We all have our thin places and they matter.  Job makes you think what makes a friend.  How can you be a better friend even to yourself.   

American Prophets points out anyone can make a difference.   It doesn't matter what your upbringing is but you can be a prophet with open hearts and open minds.  It doesn't matter if your world was based by God or not as we know God is everywhere.  It is our personal belief that matters and the willingness for health discussion.  American Prophets highlights the differences as well as the similar between people.  The common bond is community.  We all love the strength of our communities.

Knowledge or Wisdom, that is the question.

Last Sunday morning, our group discussing Job 28:20 got involved in what is knowledge and what is wisdom.  It was one of those moments when you think the more I know, the less I know.  We could have had a full discussion on that one point.  I am still pondering the question...

Wisdom is already known.  Wisdom is passed down from experience.  In order to gain wisdom, you need knowledge.  Sounds simple, correct?  It is but it is not...  Wisdom is positive and in order to gain it you must go through the challenges to establish a solid understanding to pass on the blessing of this knowledge.  It is an equal partnership.  Knowledge is going through the process of learning and builds on itself.  It is time consuming but once established benefits all who enacts with you.

We can never really establish where God got Wisdom but that discussion I would not want to enter.  What matters in the wisdom God shared with man to be successful in following the guidelines to a solid understanding of life.  Thinking, processing, and accepting is a gift given which continues to grow.   Thank you are my final words. 

Book of Job 4 -27


It was the first word that hit me.  First are Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad really his friends.  They scare me as they continued to not listen to Job.  He was venting and frustrated that life had taken some difficult turns.  He was faithful despite everything that hit him.  He still believed that God would be present ever if the outcome was not a benefit to him at the time.  Job was a remarkable individual.   

Let us move forward to present-day society.  We are not Job.  We are ourselves.  We do have the same problem as to his friends.  How many times have your friends not listened to your struggles?  How many times have they stood in judgement?  How many times have you not listened to your friends?  How many times have you stood in judgement?  This is a timeless fact and we need to shut our mouths, open our ears and hearts to our friends.  If we give them time, we are being present in their time of need.  It only takes one moment to make a difference.  I remember one of those low days and my friend called to see if everything was alright.  That made a difference.  I remember crying on that phone call and at no time did she say it was wrong to cry or make judgments.  Thank you is too little.  Her friendship is priceless.  We all are priceless and need to know how we handle each other.



1. Study provides viewpoint.

2. Knowledge is the basis of any idea.

3. Comes through experiences, interactions, discussions, and environment.

4. Open-mindedness is present.

5. Active listening is the key.  Active listening is more than just hearing.

6. Our position changes over time.

During Lent, we go into places of challenge.  We travel into a forest, seeking a path.  We are not alone!  We are never alone!

Changeable God

We question God and what God is able to do.  He is declared unchangeable but he is changeable.  Our actions can change how God handles a situation.  We have to complete our part of the process.  We need to trust the partnership between each other.  

Something to think about...God can override God.  When you ask, "Is the World finished now?"  God will answer, "Ask my partners?" We are the partners.  We are all connected physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.  This is very much simplified but an opening point all the same.  Thank you Rev. Dr. Terry Fitzgerald. 


Within all of us are coping skills.  The coping skills are the strengths given from Our Creator.  Through the paths of Creation Spirituality, I have learned the power of the four paths and how they you can travel in all them and find your strength. 

Today...My vehicle of 6 years and 11 months was declared a total loss.  It was my place of thoughts and prayers, adventures and stories it will never tell, but most importantly it was a part of my journey.  I'm thankful for all the times in the Hyundai which started with the name Miracle in 2011 to Hoffa for the overstuffed trunk.  It ended with Fossil for surviving 251,800  with Car Arthur creeping in.   How does this equate to the four paths of Creation Spirituality?  It shared my joys, struggles, losses, lessons, victories, friends, and journeys.  It was a friend in its own way.  I will cherish the memories but look forward to new memories however brief in other transportation traveling companions.

The same is true with human companions.  They share their strengths with us and we share our strengths with them. These strengths have many names.  Some call it courage, fight, spirit, drive, hope, faith, determination, and so many more.  The point is these paths like our experiences and give us coping skills.  The skills to feel, embrace, travel, challenge, and overcome the journeys whether physical, spiritual, mental, or emotional.  Though these skills our inner strength is build and connections between the paths are critical.  They balance together and coping skills are the results. 

"Let connections through body, mind, spirit, and soul be connected in all things, living and non-living."


Christian: To Be or Not To Be???

Rev. Dr. Terry Fitzgerald of the 6:00 pm service addressed the questions of God, Jesus, and Christianity.  Her first question was "Who is Jesus?"  Second question was "Who is Jesus to you?"  Third question was "Are you a Christian and why you are or not?"  I could give you some of our answers but I thought more about questions and I wanted to address them.

Here is my updated response to all I heard and my own experiences with my walk of faith.  It is a prayer:

We all walk different journeys

and our beings see not only through our body but our spirit...

We know faith is challenging in difficult times as well as victories

Yet faith isn't written in a book or a structure but within us...

We need not look to one place seek spiritual wisdom

for Our Creator gave us the greatest gift possible...

The gift of an open mind.

Let the gift of an open mind declare

that Jesus was and still is an instrument to greater knowledge,

for which united the bodies and spirits. 

May all our journeys be an instrument to our wisdom...

I declare myself to be a person of faith.


Moments define Life

Moments are insane and sane but they define life.  Moments make the Bible.  In the children's lessonon Sunday, the parting of sea was the message.  What was unique was the description.  It talked about function of your nose.  It was Exodus 15:8 which stated, "At the blast of Your nostrils the waters were piled up, The flowing waters stood up like a heap; The deeps were congealed in the heart of the sea."  What a moment to imagine!

This made me think of all the moments of my life insane or sane.  I thought about how some of the craziest moments to the quietest ones have changed my life, and sometimes they are combined.  I have too many to state but I know one when I see it.  I attended a craft fair at Arundel High School to support my companion, Rick Dove, and ended up running into my friend and college professor, Robyn, and another AACC friend, Nicki.  It made me smile and I was reminded about great gift of companions...correct...family. 

  The enjoyment and nervousness of my field of choice, children.  You don't know what lives you touch.  The job of being lunch monitor and being interview by the children about student-teacher relations.  It is all about connections and moments.  The moments are countless from coffee to nutty butters with whipped cream.  It is life and could only a snooze away.




Strength of Martin Luther King Jr

Thank you to Martin Luther King Jr for the strength to stand up.  Thank you for seeing beyond color and seeing character.  Although I was a child, I want to see "thank you."  I hope that I can assist to help open eyes even in this day and time.  We are far from true interconnectedness with each other but I hope we can connect better.   Thank you for your brief time of this earth and may you always live in the hearts of all freedom loving people.

I ask one thing, please do not let us forget the power of the human will to be faithful to stand up for right.  Please let us continue to work through faith, strength, and courage for what we know is right!  Unity is a gift of God!


Winter Relief, St. Phillip's, Shift 10:15am to 7am

This is the hardest piece for me to write.  This was my third year of doing Winter Relief and the stories come alive in moments.  Whether it was what they have for a late night dinner to their personal routines.  They told a story.   The story was they have a life and presence.  It didn't matter they are homeless as we all are homeless in true.  We choose not to see it.  Their homelessness was physical and easiest to spot.  Their homelessness is the scariest.

When you are in that space, even if you are on the cusp of homelessness yourself, you understood the blessings of even the small things.  The gift of a door with privacy and time to be by yourself.  The joy of special moments being present in your sight whether small or large.  The warmth of a thick blanket covering you after a tiring day at work.  You knew one thing when you are there, which was the simple act of being presence.  The simple act of caring.  

The things these individuals received was connection and faith.  People so often see people who are homeless because of a bad lifestyle but the truth is anyone can become homeless.  Homelessness doesn't know class, race, religion, gender, or employment.  Homelessness is scary place and lonely.  Hopefully through Winter Relief it isn't so scary and lonely, hopefully...

The most humor moments of the night was the struggle to stay awake.  The middle of night I found my friend, coffee-man, and we made eye contact.  He wanted his coffee and I was overjoyed to share the moment.  He made me laugh inside as coffee is a small thing and so normal.  He talked about how strong it wasn't and how he needed to remix and still would not be right.  I found another gentlemen to talk to and coffee-man told us we were talking too loud and they would blame him.  Another moment was with Jesse, from AACC to UCCA, when I found our AACC friend on Facebook, Andre, and started a conversation about being cold out there.  I started a word game with "cold" words.  Here were some of them: Cool Finger & the Midas Touch, Frozen Light, As The Frozen turns, Harry Potter & The Goblet of Ice, Golden Cold Awards hosted by Jack Frost, and The Frostinator.  We were reminded about the cold when people wanted to sleep in the bathroom including ourselves.

Winter Relief is something worth doing and a good reminder about homelessness.  Homelessness is in the heart too and yet it is the homeless that reminders us that connections and faith are strengths.  Imagine how much strength it takes to be without a home.  I look forward to next year and what I can do throughout the year...Thank you, Thank you.


Promises of a new year

tainted with the past

the challenges & the victories

the problems & the solutions

the greed & the heart,

Yet through it all

we find our way.

Promises of a new year

is the blessing

of what is to be.

Embrace that blessing,

seeking out the path

Yet Unknown

Yet Unknown!!! 





I walked the years like miles...

I fought the emotions like thunderstorms...

I embraced the battles like a dance...

I saw the love of the season through many eyes.

The memories will always live

deep within my spirit and my soul,

But your love, Dearest Christmas, can only grow.

 My family: Ellen (family friend), Lia (Reed's Wife), Maureen (Mom's Sister), Reed (Cousin), Erine (Me - LOL)

My family: Ellen (family friend), Lia (Reed's Wife), Maureen (Mom's Sister), Reed (Cousin), Erine (Me - LOL)


Life is chapters.  Some chapters continue even with gaps and others fad into nothingness.  What I have learned over time is to understand we are not in control.  We think we are but Our Creator is.  There is a reason for these chapters.  We can never understand the reason until the time is right.  

I put a challenge in front of you today.  Look at the year for what it is.  Chapters have a beginning, a middle, and an end.  Where it is depends on where you are in relation to the situations.  I say, "Fear not the place you are and embrace it."

When all is said and done, the answers will be present.  I hope the chapters bring you knowledge, strength, and courage.  I hope you share that knowledge, strength, and courage with those that need the wisdom.  That is a gift from Out Creator to a trusted messenger.




Gift means

Gift has many means from physical to spiritual.  Yet I find it almost funny how the meaning of gift has become one-sided.  In a recent discussion with friends, the issue of gift-giving was brought up.  Some struggle to understand that sharing time, support, listening, and joy is not a gift.  They expect the physical gifts and don't understand the importance of the spiritual gift.  They think it produces happiness within themselves and it does not.

I lost my mother in 2000 to cancer and she focused on physical gifts.  I still own some which is humor in itself.  My favorite gifts were her postcards from her travels personal or professional as she took the time to stop. write, and send me a piece of her journey.  My favorite spiritual gift was her determination to battle whatever life throw at her to only say, "Bring it on!"  

Evolve lost Rev. Wayne Schwandt in May 2015.  The physical I got from Evolve and Wayne was touch.  I am not one to scream the road is rocky but this community permitted me to go on the rocky road and find a place for foot.  The spiritual gift was faith that Our Creator would be present and supportive despite me being someone that struggles to find my place in the madness of society.  

Whatever gift means, it should not be taken lightly.  The way I see it, we are all gifts.  I like that the best!

Advent and Hope

So Sunday evening at EVOLVE service, Advent was addressed. Advent is about hope and hope has two meanings. Hope is wanting things to be better and wanting things not to change. For me, Advent is about both. This year of 2017 has been bittersweet. I treasure courage and dignity, and both have been tested this year.

It is my hope that I can use the lessons learned to take what I treasure and embrace what God has given me. I know it is early and the year is not yet over but I believe I will give thanks now. First I am thankful for my trials as without them I would not have the lessons I have learned. Second I am thankful for my successes as I have tasted its sweetness and know both go hand-in-hand. I am also thankful for those on the journeys and know I love you all. <3 <3 <3


Living Real Life

We spend our lives trying to live real life.  In a frank discussion, Rob (my rock) and I talked about Christmas.  We discussed how people expect gifts this time of year.  I was honest and stated I have no means to give this year.  I stated that time is so much more valuable or helping when in need.

If you really look at Maslow's chart, you realize how much of ourselves are based on our needs.  We see the exterior needs over this season but fail to understand the real needs.  When those around us or ourselves don't have the basic needs this season is difficult.  We have to embrace the belief of physical giving as we cannot offend those that have or think they have.  I accept I can't give so therefore I say think about need first but give what you can from the heart.

The Gift that matter to me are simple:

1. Come workout with me.
2.  Share a cup of coffee together and talk.
3.  Go laugh at something funny and enjoy yourself.
4.  Share a night with games or a movie, or perhaps an adventure.
5. Let people see the real you.
6. Trust each other and support each other.
7. Help out someone in need...it's priceless!!!

Let us give these gifts <3 <3 <3
Thank You


Slaves (just to make you think)

The AM service covered the The Parable of coins the master and his 3 slaves.  Here is what is interesting about it.  It is about wealth, ambition, and greed.  The ethical part of the slaves were overlooked.  It was rewarded when 5 coins to become 10 coins.  It was fair for 2 coins to become 4 coins.  It was not satisfying for the 1 coin to remain the one coin.  This slave received isolation from his world.

How to put this in today's world?  Today our current generation knows very little about struggle.  Their world has many safety nets.  There is a lack fear of falling through society's cracks.  For many, struggle is their best friend and they plod along.  Other people see only what they want to see.

How does slave fit in this?  Slave is someone who works very hard without appreciation, excessively depended upon or controlled by material or personal items, and a device controlled directly by another.  In the parable above, the slaves were all three components.  The needs of the master and the material wealth.  We are no different!  Our masters are our jobs, bills, responsibilities, and rules.  We are slaves to these items, plus money, position, and power rule our thoughts and beings.

What can we do?  The slave that believed in what he knew to be factual was real.  The price of this is great but when you can stand with your position then hopefully we can see beyond wealth, ambition, and greed.  It would nice to have sharing and support, justice and equality, and love and trust.   This I could be a slave to.




Sight is both Darkness and Light. 

Seeing requires the ability to LOOK in the Darkness and SEEK the Light.

 From the Evolve Gathering on Sunday, November 12th during Meditation directed by Doc. Rev. Terry Fitzgerald.

From the Evolve Gathering on Sunday, November 12th during Meditation directed by Doc. Rev. Terry Fitzgerald.

The Power of a Backbone...

We are in challenging times.  People are dividing over their viewpoint, social class, faith structure, and knowledge.  They are accepting on new ideas or are remaining with their view of the World.  Many have forgotten the backbone of life.  

The backbone is the support system in the human body as well as thoughts.  It takes a backbone to state your position in body and spirit.  When you do that, you know you are secure in who you are.  We all know that positions change for all of us.  It is the better if we can stand up for our position.  It is better to have an open mind with a solid backbone.

If you told me right now that I would be addressing some of the issues I have addressed, I would have said I lack the confidence to address the issues.  How can I address the issues?  It is the backbone and the people who supported me so I could develop my backbone.  It is important we use understand the gift of a solid backbone.  Think about Mathew 7:7-8 which states, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."  

Path of Negativa

EVOLVE is many things and this community embraces what many run from.  Who wants to face their struggles, challenges, and losses.  Who wants to see darkness.  Who wants to only embrace the positive and happy.  These are not questions but commentary.  

The movie, Inside Out, was groundbreaking in understanding the different emotions.  Happy always wanted happy.  She continued to push Sad away until...  I remember the moment well when I was crying.  The girl experienced loss of a game but her world it was big.  She was upset but after her parents embraced the moment of loss she was able to grow from the moment.  Happy understood that lives are multi-emotions.  

For all living things, death is the hardest.  Our community celebrates All Saints Day, November 1st.  I would like to say, "Thank you."  This day lets me cherish and love these in my life for what they have given so I can continue to give.  Their lessons live on.  By sharing them, if only in spirit, means Negativa is a path to better things.  Embrace the opportunities.